"Pam and Pat and ChicaChica"
Readers often ask writers how and why they started to write.
Did I always love making up stories? Yes, I did, even before
I learned to write. And I learned to read from endless fairy
tales and the grown-up travel books the neighborhood librarian
tried unsuccessfully to keep away from me.
Story-telling became my way to express sorrow and joy, mystery,
hope and wonder, even earning me at a very early age the unspoken
title of Favorite Storyteller among a bevy of cousins who eagerly
awaited my next serialized account of two girl twins and their
Native American buddy-Pam, Pat, etc.
The Writing Journey
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In later
grade school I gave in to my fascination with poetry, handing
out handwritten poems to relatives, and was overjoyed when
grandparents bought me an L. C. Smith and Corona ark of
a typewriter for 8th grade graduation. Longer tales began
to flow, and in high school short stories and essays garnered
writing medals that earned me a better, sleeker Smith-Corona
for high school graduation. |
| Then came
love, marriage and the proverbial baby carriage. And the
shiny new portable mostly just typed up shopping lists week
after years. |
By choice, raising a family and nurturing a lifelong relationship
with my head honeybunch meant that putting words on paper took
second place in my house for a time. But a great love of reading
and later an English degree as a returning student kept me "on
the page." The world seemed full of stories, full of emotion
that could be expressed through a character's struggles and
through a writer's "voice," full of endless possibilities.
I was hooked. By then I'd sold a True Confession story (none
of them are "true" at all!) and began dabbling in
Chapter Ones.
Bits and Pieces
Quite a few years later, with grown-up children, armed also
with a degree in pastoral ministry and working with great joy
in that field for eight or ten years, I knew it was time to
put the nine-to-five behind me. Non-fiction articles and reviews
in magazines, newspapers and online, over 100 of them, plus
years of cooking columns and short stories in many venues filled
my days, bringing more pleasure than a career is expected to
bring.
And then--
How could I resist the call to Chapter Twos? I couldn't. Now
the longer tales of people who overcome adversity, especially
couples in love, strong women, families--capture me, and I let
them. These men and women and their often valiant efforts to
belong and to believe are magical resources, and when their
worlds take shape at my fingertips I have to ask myself what
more fascinating work could I ever want to do?
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When we visited
a haunted manor house in England and I heard the legendary
tale of its past, how could I resist imagining the lives
of those who lived through that tale hundreds of years
ago and putting them into my first novel?
When the first World Trade Center bombing in 1993 shocked
the world, I wondered about a possible romance created
in the explosion and wrote my second book.
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Visiting Hudson River wineries, I thought about a young
women growing veggies for her family next door to an arrogant
but delicious winemaker who-well, you get the picture. |
The latest…
Now,
when life should be slowing down, it's just been revved
up to high gear, thanks to stories told and yet to tell.
Three new books coming out in 2010, and news to share about
them, keep MoJoe and me hopping. |
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Family Values-For Real?
We continue to enjoy a vivacious family life, though, now with
children, grandchildren, and all their spouses, and our first
baby great-grandchild-all of whom live very close by, or at
least within a hundred miles.
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Have you noticed how
succeeding generations just get cuter and cuter?
And with all these terrific loved ones in our sights, family
will always be at the top of our list. I guess you could
say we're family values people. But wait.
Lots of folks bat around those words, "family values,"
but what do they really mean? (I'd actually love to know
what you think on the subject!) I'll give you a hint of
what they mean to me. |
When our children were young, folks still shared the main meal
of the day together, and got to know one another around the
dinner table, a table everyone pitched in to set and to clear.
Sure, sometimes the little ones goofed around, the older ones
squirmed until they could escape, and the parents drooped a
little after long work days and meal preparation time. We didn't
know there were other choices.
| As
teens the young did chores, had to be reminded, played
board games and sports, had to be reminded, then worked
at part-time jobs or creative hobbies, and had to be reminded
to practice, sang in the choir and not an electronic implement
in sight. They made waves, but let us help them land them
safely on shore. They met friends and then the people
they'd spend their lives with, added a new generation
to our table, and somehow turned us gray in the process. |
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Times They Are A-Changin'
Decades later we still choose not to see video games or texting
at the family table, not when there are people there to joke
with, discuss the world and the inner life with, real live people.
They get it, and in return, the newer generations are teaching
us. Which I believe helps make our everyday experiences especially
around the table, whether we're two or twenty, holy.
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That's
not to say it's impossible to have a "family"
experience eating in front of the tv set-we know how busy
kids' lives, and our own, have become. There are meetings
to get to, errands to run, homework and housework and
hobbies to pursue. An occasional al fresco meal on the
family room rug to watch a favorite sports event or some
earthshaking event on the flat panel screen won't rattle
us. |
| But even
as part of a five-generation extended family, we often
get together for meals and enjoy the company as much as
the dessert. |
| Sunday
dinner, rotating to different households, is still a perennial,
as are annual feasts and festivities when folks arrive from
far away to enjoy one meal and another around a sometimes
crowded table. There's even a core group of us that meets
for kitchen table lunch most Saturdays, and I for one count
every sit-down together a blessing. Picnics, cookouts, birthdays,
showers and unbirthdays -there's always an excuse for a
family meal, and an opportunity to connect and share love. |
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 Red
Flag This One
One thing we try hard to remember, but I'm sometimes guilty
of forgetting, is to let each other know how much we love them.
It's so easy to take for granted that your adult child, or your
teen-aged grandson, knows how very much you care for them. But
that's no excuse for not letting them know-in words and deeds
what's in your heart.
I think in my Polish background family of origin, affection
was shown but words of love were often missing. Were we shy,
embarrassed, what? Also, as I grew up, I got lots of hugs and
kisses myself, but later had to remind myself that love is a
two-way street. While it's fun and easy to kiss a baby or small
child, it's probably Grandma's leathery cheek and Grandpa's
whiskery chin that are most hungry for those touches of affection.
Why be stingy with our expressions of love, spoken or otherwise?
| MoJoe's
Italian family was easier with hello and goodbye kisses
and hugs, and I'm so glad our little crew moved in that
direction. Still do, though we have to honor those who
resist frequent outward expressions. It's a struggle for
me-acceptance of each one's personality, introvert or
extrovert, feeling or thinking-all kinds make up the world.
I've mellowed out, I think, but am still learning how
to trust, to hold back with comments or corrections, and
to like what I see around the family room. |
Yes, You Can!
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Raising
children with self-esteem, always a big issue in the years
our grandchildren grew up, was and continues to be a goal
in the family households where we spend our time. But
we've learned that constantly telling the young how great
they are is far less effective than reminding them they
"can do" whatever it is that's facing them-the
ace math test, mend the shattered friendship, beat back
the nasty rumors at school-it takes effort. After all,
we can remind them, they've proved before they can handle
life's downs as well as ups, and we should be assuring
them they have what it takes, if they choose to use it.
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Hopefully, they'll go on
meeting life with gusto, glory or just plain goodness. That
lesson, how much we're capable of, how we can shine in our own
individual way, if we choose it, is what each of us needs to
know in our hearts. And what young people gradually learn as
they grow in an atmosphere of love, support and challenge.
Some Books That Focus on Family Love and Support
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The
Simple Living Guide
By Janet Luhrs
In a rich volume backed up by intriguing true stories
of other families, Luhrs inspires us to choose simpler
lives, lives where the biggest values reign, and
"green" reigns in our day-to-day living.
She deals with practicality and verve with time
and money issues, Cooking, Health, Housing, Clutter
and more, including the Inner Simplicity we all
crave.
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The
Art of Family
By Gina Bria
A small book that brims with loving rituals,
imaginative ways to be together as family, and
old fashioned traditions newly adapted for today-written,
the author says, "to make our families
last when so many lie broken around us."
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Seasons
of Love:A Journey of Faith, Family and Community
By Eleanor Sullo, under the pen name Eleanor
Sampeck
Well over twenty-five years ago -100 seasons--an
extended family made a "return to nature"
move to the country for a simpler life. The record
of their struggles and growth, in the ordinary,
everyday context of the garden and the kitchen can
be a springboard to more for those who long for
family life, and Christian beliefs, to support them
in these uncertain times.
[read
more here]
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